I hate my dad,was just the popular thoughts of many young men- Solomon Buchi
Father's day, a Great Day after the Mothers day Celebration, Many people took to their Social Media page to express the Love for their Fathers, Some in Solo way and to Some In Unimaginable way. What got our attention was that of a motivated Speaker Solomon Buchi, Who made some shocking Fact in the life of many Individual.
In his own Word,
I hate my dad. He so misunderstands me. He's so committed to not letting me do the things I want for my life. Has said so many things that I considered devastating to my self esteem and confidence. At some point I felt I was adopted, I felt I wasn't his seed. He was fixed on pushing me to do things he failed doing with his life hence ignoring that God has a different purpose for my life. We don't have an amazing relationship.
The first paragraph was just the popular thoughts of many young men.
Yes, I know because I have been there. My dad is this fierce, autocratic, choleric man who had a challenging childhood. Even before he had consciousness as a baby, his dad died.
He grew up in family enmity, struggles, all by his single mom. Last of many but struggled like the first son.
Hustled through a lot and in his twenties, he decided to get married; 27.
Single handedly got married; the man who all hope was lost on his behalf, the rejected stone.
Well, he went through all that and gave birth to us.
Many times I've felt my dad hated me because his actions..
He's said lots of bitter things to me, I cried, I felt emotionally abused..
He's tried to dictate to me what I must use my life for when I know that's not me..
I understood after sometime. Our fathers; especially the ones without great upbringing; they have been so frustrated; bitter about a lot of things, and so this bitterness reflects when they deal with us, unconsciously.
For their failed dreams, they want us to recover. So when we want what we want, it hurts them.
I grew to learn that tho many fathers say and do bitter things, their intentions are of love.
They are ignorant about how much these words can damage us, sincerely ignorant, but they've got love for us. So even when my dad opposed my choice of dream, I didn't see him like an enemy. I understood that he thought what he wanted was the best; he was uncertain about my choice.
This is the insecurity of many African fathers. They don't hate you, it's just their frustration; they are trying too hard that you get better than them but in a wrong way. Fatherhood is such a hard thing for most men who were not propely fathered. You wouldn't have done better.
In the midst of how bad I felt about my dad and his opposition for my dreams, I understood he wanted the ‘best’, and my interest was in his heart.
Why am I writing this?
Today is father's day, and we won't see a lot of eulogies and posts and emotional writings like we do on mother's day. Why?
Because fathers are misunderstood.
Fatherhood is real hard.
These men are lost in frustration of taking themselves to their promise land and carrying their seeds alone.
And their personal failures unconsciously affects their relationship with their children.
They nag, say painful words, do wrong things, out of a sense of unaccomplished living. When a man feels unfulfilled, he can't father you into fulfilment.
This is the story of many African fathers,They are strong, determined men who are ignorant; life has bitten them so hard that they even show love out of violence and force. More like dysfunctioned men, And that's why they largely fail in fatherhood.
I am writing this for my fellow youngsters to understand that most of our fathers got love for us.
They may not have allowed us tow the paths we so desired..
They may have abandoned us because we made our choice..
They may have said bitter things we consider emotionally abusive,But as bitter as thing sounds.
THEY LOVE US.
One day my day said to me: “Those bitter things I say to you is to provoke you; to make you stand up and work harder. Sometimes a man needs to provoked into greatness..”
There's love right there.
But sincere ignorance on HOW TO..
Let's not blame these men entirely.
They couldn't have known more than they were exposed to..
These men gave birth to us..
Fed us, housed us, catered for us.
Why should we feel now that they don't love us?
And most times God speaks to me.
Buchi, your dad being this way is an enabler to make you a better father.
You felt he did it wrong because God wants you to do it better in your time.
So do you now see the reason why we should celebrate African fathers?
They are wounded soldiers.
Men with love at heart but misguided actions.
Happy Father's day to my dad.
To the father I am becoming.
And to all fathers in the world.
Being a man is real hard, talk more of being a father; that's almost a disease, some men die cos of it.
But we won't die.
In his own Word,
I hate my dad. He so misunderstands me. He's so committed to not letting me do the things I want for my life. Has said so many things that I considered devastating to my self esteem and confidence. At some point I felt I was adopted, I felt I wasn't his seed. He was fixed on pushing me to do things he failed doing with his life hence ignoring that God has a different purpose for my life. We don't have an amazing relationship.
The first paragraph was just the popular thoughts of many young men.
Yes, I know because I have been there. My dad is this fierce, autocratic, choleric man who had a challenging childhood. Even before he had consciousness as a baby, his dad died.
He grew up in family enmity, struggles, all by his single mom. Last of many but struggled like the first son.
Hustled through a lot and in his twenties, he decided to get married; 27.
Single handedly got married; the man who all hope was lost on his behalf, the rejected stone.
Well, he went through all that and gave birth to us.
Many times I've felt my dad hated me because his actions..
He's said lots of bitter things to me, I cried, I felt emotionally abused..
He's tried to dictate to me what I must use my life for when I know that's not me..
I understood after sometime. Our fathers; especially the ones without great upbringing; they have been so frustrated; bitter about a lot of things, and so this bitterness reflects when they deal with us, unconsciously.
For their failed dreams, they want us to recover. So when we want what we want, it hurts them.
I grew to learn that tho many fathers say and do bitter things, their intentions are of love.
They are ignorant about how much these words can damage us, sincerely ignorant, but they've got love for us. So even when my dad opposed my choice of dream, I didn't see him like an enemy. I understood that he thought what he wanted was the best; he was uncertain about my choice.
This is the insecurity of many African fathers. They don't hate you, it's just their frustration; they are trying too hard that you get better than them but in a wrong way. Fatherhood is such a hard thing for most men who were not propely fathered. You wouldn't have done better.
In the midst of how bad I felt about my dad and his opposition for my dreams, I understood he wanted the ‘best’, and my interest was in his heart.
Why am I writing this?
Today is father's day, and we won't see a lot of eulogies and posts and emotional writings like we do on mother's day. Why?
Because fathers are misunderstood.
Fatherhood is real hard.
These men are lost in frustration of taking themselves to their promise land and carrying their seeds alone.
And their personal failures unconsciously affects their relationship with their children.
They nag, say painful words, do wrong things, out of a sense of unaccomplished living. When a man feels unfulfilled, he can't father you into fulfilment.
This is the story of many African fathers,They are strong, determined men who are ignorant; life has bitten them so hard that they even show love out of violence and force. More like dysfunctioned men, And that's why they largely fail in fatherhood.
I am writing this for my fellow youngsters to understand that most of our fathers got love for us.
They may not have allowed us tow the paths we so desired..
They may have abandoned us because we made our choice..
They may have said bitter things we consider emotionally abusive,But as bitter as thing sounds.
THEY LOVE US.
One day my day said to me: “Those bitter things I say to you is to provoke you; to make you stand up and work harder. Sometimes a man needs to provoked into greatness..”
There's love right there.
But sincere ignorance on HOW TO..
Let's not blame these men entirely.
They couldn't have known more than they were exposed to..
These men gave birth to us..
Fed us, housed us, catered for us.
Why should we feel now that they don't love us?
And most times God speaks to me.
Buchi, your dad being this way is an enabler to make you a better father.
You felt he did it wrong because God wants you to do it better in your time.
So do you now see the reason why we should celebrate African fathers?
They are wounded soldiers.
Men with love at heart but misguided actions.
Happy Father's day to my dad.
To the father I am becoming.
And to all fathers in the world.
Being a man is real hard, talk more of being a father; that's almost a disease, some men die cos of it.
But we won't die.
hmm
ReplyDelete